Rules for living in LA

1. If you are invited to a hotel room; it's for two things, to do illicit drugs or have sex, that is it.

2. Never ever drink at a VFW Lodge.

3. Never date someone who drives a Jeep

4. If someone asks you to borrow a key to do drugs, that means they are not old enough to own keys to anything.

5. This isn't New York and you're not Bill Cunningham, don't take pictures of people you don't know.

6. It's rainy and cold December through February at the least, plan accordingly and don't complain. 

7. It's overcast in May and June, we all know about it, quit complaining.

8. If the person you’re texting, ever responds with “Indeed” instead of agreed, yes, yeah or anything else, block this person.

9. The 2nd floor men's bathroom at the Hollywood and Highland Mall is basically just a Glory Hole.

10. The Eggslut on the Broadway side of Grand Central Market is the only location that ever has a line.